With little expectation since it’s a teen flick, I brought myself into the movie theatre hoping that it won’t be so disappointing since it’s already in it’s third film. Felt I should have a refund after it ended.

The producers of The Twilight Saga, aren’t interested in the story they’re milking for more than it’s worth. They’re even making five flicks, although Meyers penned only four books. Each new release is money in the bank, forked over by blind-faith fans raring to stoke their hormones with a bare-chested hunk, a sensitive guy and their supernatural sock hop romance of a wishy-washy chick.

Why try hard when Twihards line up for anything Jacob, Edward and Bella?

I honestly thought Eclipse would be exciting due to the trailer (with the huge battle scene), after New Moon showed stirrings of cinematic life. Vampires and werewolves were finally getting busy doing what monsters do. Bella (Kristen Stewart) had reasons for her chronically glum expressions. Edward (Robert Pattinson) took his pallid puppy act somewhere else for most of the movie. Things were looking up.

Eclipse leaves the sputtering story arc in idle, with only an uneasy truce between the vampire and werewolf clans amounting to anything new. For once, new characters added to mimic creativity mean something; an army of “Newborns”, freshly minted vampires with uncontrollable bloodlust. They’re enlisted by Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) to get revenge on Edward for something that may have happened in an earlier flick but didn’t register.

Here’s an example of how lame Eclipse can be: Edward’s clan insists the Newborns can be defeated only after better training than the wolf pack has ever endured. The “regimen” turns out to be lining up in teams and running into each other, like every Twilight movie before. At least they don’t have to learn cheesy tree scampering or tree hopping!

Here are two examples of how misguided Eclipse can be: We get flashbacks showing how Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) and Rosalie (Nikki Reed) became vampires, as if it matters by now. Jasper was a Civil War officer with only a uniform confirming that since a battle scene would be too much trouble. Rosalie was gang-raped by her fiance and his friends but still tells Bella she wishes for her mortal life back.

The huge battle scene on the trailer? What happened to that you might ask? Well it laster for a few minutes with “ok-ok” special effects that’s not even scary, that happened in the same field they played baseball before, not so huge right? These are monsters fighting mind you but it’s just plain PG.

The examples of clunky dialogue with performances to match are countless.

At times, there are winking reassurances that the folks behind The Twilight Saga don’t take this stuff as seriously as their fans. I enjoyed Edward’s dismissal of perpetually half-naked Jacob (“Doesn’t he own a shirt?”) and their nose-to-nose spat over Bella during a camping trip. (Which Bella was sleeping soundly and they were talking kinda loud). The inside of a tent hasn’t seen that much heat since Brokeback Mountain.

Not that it changes anything about Twilight hysteria, and perhaps it shouldn’t. But I’d hate to think that Teams Bella, Edward and Jacob truly believe this is fine cinematic storytelling. They can hate the haters now if they wish. Someday they’ll look back and realize they’ve been had. Only for Twilight fans. Seriously.

Resources: Wikipedia | IMDb | Yahoo! Movies

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Official Movie Poster

Singapore Date: 1st July 2010 Language: English Running Time: 124 mins Rating: PG Genre: Fantasy | Romance | Thriller Tagline: It all begins … With a choice Starring: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner Directed by: David Slade Company: Summit Entertainment Singapore Distributor: Shaw Organisation iZone Rating: 6/10 Official Website : The Twilight Saga : Eclipse

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Movie Trailer

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